Gaslight or Gatekeep?

 Gaslight or Gatekeep?

Soo what the fuck is the deal with my new office job, why can’t I escape this weird lanky man? Picture the creepiest man you could think of, tall - think taller, greasy - he’s greasier, crazy eyes? His are the craziest, this man is straight up from a murder mystery book I would write. If I met him in an alleyway I would scream. And I think you would too.


I know you’re thinking that I am being cruel, that’s because I am. And who is this mystery hunk I hear you asking? Well, he’s my old flatmate, emphasis on the OLD. I only had the pleasure of sharing an apartment and most poignantly a wall with this bachelor for two months, but alas they were memorable. 


The first red flag should have been that he was a MAN and that he was living in a flat share in his fifties, but alas. I was at the time desperate and trying to turn a blind eye. It’s a shame I couldn't turn a blind nose as well. 


Crimes he is wanted for in list of seriousness;

  • Stealing my soya milk 

  • Using my toothbrush 

  • Playing shockingly shit music 24/7 

  • Smashing glass and leaving it on the floor

  • Smoking a ***** pipe in his room 


Guess who I saw waltzing around the office bright and early Monday morning? Yes you guessed it. Mr Lanky himself. Up until this very moment I had genuinely forgotten he still existed. As you would imagine it was a big kick to the ego that this cretin and I were working the same job lol. 


But in all seriousness girls, my current dilemma is; whether I should report him to HR for stealing my soya milk last June, or to gaslight him to a level never seen before and refuse to admit we've ever met, let alone lived together. 


My current gut instinct is leaning towards gaslighting. As you all have gathered, I do have a penchant for The Arts and adding another skill to my wheelhouse wouldn’t hurt. 

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